My Reaction to “United 93”
It’s very easy to stumble along the way of attempting to tell you how good this movie is. I think primarily that is because adjectives don’t really do the experience justice.
The simplest way to describe this movie is to tell you perhaps how you should prepare yourself, given the fact that I basically insist that everyone see it. Much more complicated is the fact that there is no real unifying lens from which to judge a movie about such painful times in our country’s –no– world’s history.
First, everyone has their own very private experience to the day of September 11th. There is no way I can compel you to understand your feelings and your potential reaction to this movie. That is all on you. All I can do is convey how I prepared myself for this movie and how, in the end, I actually reacted to it.
Sometimes I feel compelled to liking movies in advance (not so much due to content; I mean the filmmaker’s ability to do a good job). I can’t pinpoint why from case to case, I just know that I carry my biases with me in every subjective experience (like movies, books, music etc). So, it must be stated clearly that I already felt driven to see this movie. Perhaps I wanted to see if it would help me heal. Please don’t take that as melodramatic; again, this is just my reaction. Like I said, yours might be completely different.
You may already know this but the movie is an attempt to do a real time, historical account of the fate of United Flight 93. The most striking thing is how the director and his crew focused on the absolute mundane. I’m really talking little stuff; like the crew and the passengers, I never felt like the camera knew what was going on either. It was just observing the overlooked: the fueling, the cops in the airport on their regular beat (but never focusing on them or their thoughts), people in line checking their watches, the walks down the ramp, the beautiful morning sun lighting everything up (but never shots of the sun). You just got the sense the morning was bright, cheerful and…uneventful.
You may already know this but many people played themselves in the movies: flight controllers, military people at NORAD, the head of the FAA. And as a matter of record, it’s could be perceived as fascinating that he was on his FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.
Big deal? No. I’m serious; it’s no big deal. The people in this movie do not have any hindsight. They do not have any knowledge. They are just flying home, or to work, or to wherever. They are doing their regular jobs, and basically living lives of “unbeknownst.â€
We as the audience have the knowledge. And that knowledge is only pieces and parts. It’s interesting and I believe that all who watch this should admit that the terrorists did not look scary. They are not ugly. As a matter of fact, a couple of them were actually relatively good looking young men. There is no effort to overtly villainize them. They just sit down in 1st class and begin their trip…like everyone else.
But I knew. Only because my hindsight is 20/20. And here’s where the reaction I felt began to differ from what I thought would be my response to this movie. I thought the first shots of American Flight 11 hitting the World Trade Center would make me cry. I felt a frog. But then it went away. It hurt, but I was so in the present tense the movie thrust upon me, I could not reflect, I could not ponder.
This movie is so well crafted you don’t feel like you are watching a movie. Very quickly I began to think, hmmm, maybe if I did this over there, I could get the passengers on the plane to see what was happening and with my help, they would get the inside scoop I possessed. The movie was that real.
And then the terrorists began making their decisions to act. My heart, pounding loudly from the beginning of the movie (even during the most mundane events), went into overdrive. It was an experience that is difficult to describe so I’ll just say this: I felt it start pounding just two inches below my adam’s apple. And I promise complete truth here: I would be shocked if it were under 150 beats per minute. I have never in my life outside of strenuous physical activity felt my heart pound like that. I felt it was going to jump out of my throat. I thought others could hear it.
Then an almost visceral white seething rage settled in. Not an uncontrollable one. One that made me grit my teeth, clench my fists, focus my eyes on the terrorists, and push all other emotions out of the way. I did NOT feel sadness. In retrospect, I wonder if my body’s instincts were taking over in a way to be ready to help when I was called. I do admit this may sound incredibly macho or maybe a little imaginary. I know I’m a small man; I can’t beat the hair off a gnat. But all of a sudden, I no longer felt I was a movie watcher. I was on that plane. And I felt absolutely helpless. I simply couldn’t do a god damned thing.
This may have actually made me angrier. I don’t know. But I continued this seething rage in silence and helplessly continued watching the fate of my fellow passengers. I mean this: I wanted to help. This feeling of a bond was taking shape. I felt they were my friends. I wanted to comfort the stewardess who began to sob uncontrollably. I wanted to rally the spirit of the male who looked afraid to spring to action. I wanted to follow the man who seemed to rally the bigger male passengers. He took charge and I was ready to listen and act at his request.
It all happened so fast.
I don’t want to reveal the matter in which the filmmakers showed the sequence of events. This would be such a disservice to you, the potential viewer. Your reaction may be one of sadness, one of pain, I don’t know. I just don’t know what to say to that.
Except this: find a reason to see this movie. Justify it in your mind however you can if you at all fear the way you will react. Your reaction may surprise you like it did me.
And I don’t say the following in an effort to pass judgment (if you don’t see it) or imply guilty feelings if you’re not ready. In this I actually do understand. Like I said, from the onset I felt very compelled to seeing this film. So, it’s ultimately your decision.
You’ll also note that I have left politics out of my thoughts here. So did the filmmakers. There is no agenda here. This is brilliant as is just about every act and decision made to create this film. No one can pretend to understand what happen and anything beyond a present tense re-enactment is the only way we can hope to understand what happened and hope to understand our own reactions. We just don’t know and that baggage must be left outside.
But know that the passengers on this flight may have saved our most honored institutions. They may have saved many lives by losing their own. Know that they, in many ways, were our nation’s first counter attack. We talk about dumping tea in the Boston Harbor right before our country was born. This is right up there with the actions of our forefathers.
Past the anger, past the helplessness, one other emotion surfaced and in my opinion ultimately ruled my final feelings.
Gratitude.
This is why you should see United 93.
