I’m guessing that if you were to ever ask my girlfriend the reason she is with me [above and beyond my statuesque physique and impeccable bone structure], without hesitation she will say it is due in no small part to my ninja-like kitchen abilities.
Friday night was, simply put, an apex example of the aforementioned abilities. Now, mind you, I enjoy cooking and certainly sound confident, but I really think it’s because I enter into it unafraid. I don’t think I’m a culinary expert or have real chef potential. I’m messy, slow, and completely self-taught.
But hey, when it’s good god damnit, I get the giggles.
Tonight, I started by coming up with some crazy ancho chile dry rub for pork chops. Returned them to the fridge to marinate, I then mapped out what was to be a three course meal.
Oh yes, we’ll start out with a roasted beet salad with butter lettuce, red cabbage, and some fig paste in between the slices of the roasted beet. Add to this roasted almonds, and slices of orange. This was the 1st time I ever roasted or even cooked a beet for that matter. Tastes like the earth, man, groovy. But be careful kids, beets stain.
Then we moved to the 2nd course: Baked artichokes with a cilantro mayonnaise dip. HAHAHAHA, I am kidding right? No I am NOT. Read somewhere you should scoop out the unedible purple parts of the artichoke prior to cooking. Bullshit, it’s a pain in the ass and completely unnecessary. Just don’t eat it, fool.
Oh man, then the final course. The pork chops, grilled outside on a small propane [love Hank Hill] grill I bought from a friend for $20. BUT THAT’s NOT ALL!!!!
The pork chops were served over a cumin-carrot puree. Ok, let’s stop here for a moment.
You take 4 carrots, chopped and peeled. One Yukon gold potato, cubed and peeled. Boil for about 25-30 minutes ‘til nice and tender. Then you put them in a blender and add ¼ – ½ t. of cumin and half a stick of butter. And. That’s. It. Give me a break, this tastes so good it actually amounts to being wrong. Like you’ve cheated the law of averages and fate is comin’ after you.
Then over the pork chops and the carrot puree, you drizzle jalapeño cilantro cream sauce. Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man. yes, home made, yes, ah-deliciouso.
Started eating around 8 o clock. Finished eating around 10:30. In between we watched “The Cooler†starring William H, Alec B and Maria Bello.
This is one of those meals that you have fundamental, life re-organizing thoughts. You begin to imagine your friends coming over, trekking from far lands like Valencia and Chatsworth to partake in this culinary pleasure. You almost feel unworthy of the food; it was —I know you are going to think I’m being a smart ass—incredibly humbling. Because, it makes you forget all that is wrong with the world, all that is wrong with your life, and becomes this Zen like “live in the moment” thing that you can only hope to duplicate.
Yea, food can do that.
Want the recipe? E-mail me.
