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Squeaky wheel gets the grease

Kids, let me tell you the one piece of advise that probably extends well beyond any other in its success rate:

“Squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

I have employed this style of “dealing with life” so often I lost count YEARS ago.

And today was no different.

Yesterday, I log onto my bank’s online system. It tells me I have no online accounts.  Untrue, but hey maybe they’re just glitching it up. Whatever, right? Try again a few minutes later: same thing. So, I think: ok, they’re going through something, and I don’t need to check that desperately. So, I’ll try again tomorrow morning.

This morning? Same thing. Ok, time to call.

I call my bank (whose name rhymes with “Wells Fargo”) and explain. They put me on hold. For a while.

For a while.

They get back, and say something about me needing to go to a branch to update my information…and signature card? I’ve had this bank for twenty years, what on earth are you talking about?

She transparently said, “I don’t know why this is.” She ham-fisted her way through the discussion, attempting to answer (speculating, I’m guessing), to no avail. I say, “Ok, that’s all fair and good, and I don’t want to kill the messenger here, so I’d like to speak to a supervisor.”

She actually asked, “Can I tell the supervisor what you’d like to speak about?” I pause, thinking that now, there is a glitch in the matrix. “Um, because you can’t at all explain why something that I had TWO days ago (access) has been eliminated, and why you never bothered to tell me in the first place; that I had to find out on my own by wondering whether my account was hacked, that I need to go update my signature card??!!”

Detecting a slight huff huff, and perhaps exasperated—because logic will do that to you— she said, “Please hold.”

I was then on hold for a while.

For a while.

She returns twice to tell me she’s waiting on the supervisor and to thank me for my patience. Her tone was better than the previous version of herself.

She returns to the phone a 3rd time to tell me they are “trying to bypass the system in order to restore my access, and that she needs to keep me on hold.” I replied, “Thank you.”

She came back and said, “they were able to restore, and are you in front of your computer?”

After 30 minutes of being on hold, they gave me back what I had before, with no reason as to why it was taken away in the first place. Yes, I logged in with no problem.

Moral of the story?

Squeaky wheel gets the grease.

This has been a Chance Public Service Announcement.