Ok, so let’s get the Lakers out of the way first. These guys are phoning in their performance. How on earth could Gary Payton have spent a majority of the season complaining about playing time if, in what appears to be his last legitimate shot at a championship, he pretty much blows. Just an offhanded remark, i’m sure. Spurs up by 2. Lakers at home on Sunday. Play like you mean it guys, if it matters at all to you.
*****
Spoke to my little sister this morning.
I told you in a previous entry that she is going through an extraordinary transition period. I think it best I give some background so what I say in the future make sense.
I’m the older one, she’s the younger one and you can add to that all its invariable stereotypes. But my littlesis has essentially spent the last 15 years doing some seriously hard living. While it’s probably unnecessary to expand on that, you may let your imagination run wild if you wish.
No, you know what? I’m going to tell you straight out:
My sister is an addict. Since she was 15.
At long last, with nowhere left to turn, after the family had basically said “enough is enough”, she found rock bottom. This happened a few days before Thanksgiving last year. I felt like I had been waiting my whole life for that moment.
Prior to this, I had envied most of my friends. For however disjointed, distant and dysfunctional their relationships were with their siblings, the one I had with mine had enjoyed profound distress, sadness, cynicism and many times, despair.
I’ve always considered myself a tough love person; I’ll give you the world and bend over backwards the minute you make the decision for yourself to change [lyrical footnote: THERE IS NO ONE HERE TO SAVE YOU, BUT I CAN HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF]. And I wanted to desperately to choke, strangle and shake my sister, but knew sadly that would never help matters.
So, my family and I waited. ‘Til a bottom was found, made of rock.
Now that she wants to change, the whole family walks this transition with her. Hopes have never been higher, but the past is there to remind us there will be bumps and trips along the way. Much of our time is bided crossing fingers and holding our collective breath. And some of it is filled with real genuine showing of growth on her part.
Such was the scene like today:
She’s looking to get some employment, one that works with her schedule in her rehab facility. The two who have offered her work (or are about to) require a car. This she does not have. So, now I have to play the diplomat to see how funds shall be acquired to buy a new [aka used] car. Parents? Credit cards? Starting a donation fund?
In the past, she would have ranted and railed about what she didn’t have and ask for the world without lifting a finger. It’s a conversation no one in my family ever wanted to be a part of. She knew I never took her bullshit (in the past), so we rarely had these. We could go months without talking.
But today was different, because she sees now that it can’t be just “given to her.” She’s showing a kind of humility I don’t know that she’s ever had. Acknowledging she needs help and at the same time, understanding it’s not necessarily going to go her way.
In other words, being flexible. She was prepared, thinking out loud how to pay people back, how to cover her insurance, her storage fees [that holds her stuff from her old house, long since gone]. She’s beginning to show the responsibility that I know she has in her.
A friend just mentioned to me that her drug addiction made her feel like she never matured past the age she began taking which was coincidentally, also my sis’ age when she started (15). It’s a very interesting point.
But I am certain about this: No matter how subtle the showing of growth today, I don’t know if you or anyone will ever understand how happy it makes me feel right now.
Much more on this later….Say a prayer or make a wish, k?
